Privacy & Cookie Policy

Privacy and Cookie Policy

In line with the Data Protection Act 2018 (DPA 2018) and the UK General Data Protection Regulations 2021 (UK GDPR) we need to tell you how we use your Data (or don't as is the case)

What personal information do we gather?

None, this website is for information purposes only and has no function to gather data protected by either act.

How do we store your information?

In an empty cardboard box (because we don't gather any information)

How do we use your information?

We can't use information we haven't gathered. You can't even email us as we don't have email either.

Once again...we do not gather, collect or retain any form of data covered by either the DPA 2018 or UK GDPR 2021 just to be clear.

Do we use cookies?

Yes, we use Google Analytics cookies. Cookies are small pieces of information saved as a text file sent to Google Analytics by your computer or mobile device which tell us how you found the site, how you use the site and whether the device you are using has been on the site before. The cookie is stored on your device which allow us to recognise when you next visit and not display the annoying "Accept Cookies" Message.

We will ask you when you first visit our website whether you give your consent to the use of cookies. You can accept or reject the cookies. It will have no impact on your use of the site other than if you reject the cookies you will receive a notification each time you visit the site. You can always reject the cookies without impact on your experience.

Once in a while we check the Google Analytics data to see if anyone has visited the site, how they found it, what pages they looked at, and for how long. It's completely anonymous so we can't find out that Dave on Lullington Road has a Scarecrow fetish (sorry Dave, it's just an example) or that Amy on the new estate has just started selling Ann Summers (by new estate it refers to any house built since 1973).

If you have any concerns, they are completely unfounded. I'd worry about what Google and Facebook know about you....